B.S. Before Surgery…After reading the following quote about an upcoming course at church, “Contemplate what it means to stand on the threshold with courage and attentiveness, listening for the next congruent step, and honor the threshold moments in your life as an integral part of the process of transformation and change,” I started recording my internal conversations. Someday, on the other side of Rob’s surgery, I imagine recording “Inner Witness Plus.”
Me: Are you there?
Inner Witness: Always.
Me: Do you love me?
Inner Witness: Always.
Me: Will you help me live here and now?
Inner Witness: Always.
Me: Oh yeah, and eat less?
Inner Witness: If we must.
Me: I do so want to be strong and healthy. Also to push away Fear.
Inner Witness: Fear has nothing on me.
Me: Really? Then why do you allow it?
Inner Witness: Not my doing, honey. If you live right here, right now, you might feel fright but not capital-F Fear. And only occasionally at that.
Me: What about on O-day?
Inner Witness: Maybe. So 7/19 – Rob’s operation. Got it. On my calendar.
Me: [Pursing my lips to blow a kiss.]
Inner Witness: You know, there’ll be a giant gang with you that day.
Me: Yep. I’ll try to remember.
Inner Witness: And remember, it will help to breathe, feel the juice shiver through you.
Me. Ok, we’ll see.
Inner Witness: I will hold you. All the legions will too.
Me: You mean the living and the dead?
Inner Witness: Of course, sugar. You can reach out and feel the net we make.
Me: Thank God for that.
(Artwork by Penelope Jackson)
Always Bridging 